We all resist anger and people who get angry at the drop of a hat. But are you aware of the true causes of anger? Anger might be only the tip of an iceberg. We may use it as a garb to hide other emotions.
Being an inquisitive person, I have always been curious to find why some people are more prone to anger than others. What are some facets of their lives they are trying to hide under the false pretense of anger? Having read a lot of Louise Hay’s books and finding them to be so apt, I also tried to uncover some of the psychological reasons behind anger.
Sharing some of the interesting facts with you that might help you identify the true causes of anger. My core purpose in writing this post is that some relationships that are withering because of the anger in the people involved could be saved by understanding the reason behind it.
You are in denial of your own fears
Since centuries, we have been taught that fear is an emotion of the weak and exposing your inner fears can make you vulnerable to the big bad world out there. To hide your inner true self or to be in denial of your vulnerability, you try to hide it under the garb of anger.
You use anger to move away from pain
Sometimes, anger is also used as a way to distract yourself from the feeling of pain. When you feel pain, you tend to think about the pain you are experiencing. If, however, you cover it up with anger, you tend to be thinking about the people whom you perceive to be the cause of your pain. Therefore, during the process, your focus shifts from yourself to others. This temporarily gives the feeling of reduced pain.
You have a low self-esteem
The feeling of anger makes you feel righteous. The people who have low self-esteem use anger as a tool to prove themselves esteem or self-worth. Similarly, people who have low self-esteem also cover up for the same using criticism. They criticize everybody around them for the purpose of raising their self-esteem.
You use anger as a tool to get what you want from others
For people who are not able to be assertive about what they want, anger could be ways and means to get things done your way. It also allows you to keep the voice of your conscious in check. When you know you are wrong and your ego does not allow you to accept it, getting angry helps you justify your actions and feel self-righteous.
Criticizing others gives you a false sense of power
When you look at people who are doing better than you in life, there are two ways to react:
- You idolize them and try to become like them
- You find ways and means to criticize that so that you can get a false sense of self-esteem
Criticism is a cheap and temporary way to boost your self esteem. It does more harm than good. Try and analyze the true reason for your chronic anger and use better ways and means to boost your self-esteem.
In my next post, I would talk about various options to re-channelize anger into a more positive emotion. Go through some other links that you might find useful in understanding anger. Till then, take care and stay blessed.
Please visit my home page for more articles on emotional intelligence. For those who feel that anger is natural and does not impact your physical well-being, go to this resource. Search for anger in the web page. The results will surprise you!